Adjusting
On the evening of June 15th around 8:30, I began experiencing contractions that seemed slightly more painful than the usual pain. After timing them for an hour or so, I decided this was the real thing and told my brother and his fiancé to make their way to our house to watch Maya during our hospital stay. We arrived at the hospital around midnight and I received the epidural a few hours later at about 6 cm dilated. After about 5 big pushes, our daughter Naomi Nour entered the world at 5:18 on the morning of June 16th. She is a sweet and serene little beauty and we are enjoying loving on her sleepy little self.
I’m not entirely surprised that having two under 2 is an absolute madhouse, but I definitely thought the infant would be the more demanding of the two. We’re entering the terrible two’s with Maya and just in time for a new addition. I know my child; and I knew what I was in for when preparing to bring another baby home. Maya will “ooh” and “ahh” at Naomi, comment when she cries or eats – repeatedly saying, “baby eating a nipple.” “Mm yummy nipple”. I can only imagine the wild things that will exit her mouth in the future. And what public and crowded place we’ll be when it happens.
Naomi barely cries, sleeps 5 hours straight at night (a long time in infant terms), and eats A TON. Maya, on the other hand, cries from morning until evening. Whines about most things and can never be pleased. Enough to drive Anis and I out of our minds. We are fully in it. Toddler life has hit and we are figuring it out as we go. My parents are both still actively working full time and due to Covid-19, Anis’s Mom was unable to leave France to come and be with us for a few weeks. If everything had gone according to the original plan, she would have arrived 2 days before the birth. It’s devastating, to say the least, but Anis and I did our best to make sure we were on the same page before birth.
I was nervous up until Naomi arrived; thinking we wouldn’t be able to manage everything on our own and stay sane. It’s not that is hasn’t been difficult and exhausting for both of us, as we imagined; but if anything, it makes me realize how much more capable we are as parents. I say this a lot, but since becoming a parent, I’ve always been surprised by how well I can function off so little sleep. I’m not really sweating the sleep deprivation this time around. I’m used to sleeping with one eye open, having to use my brain at a moment’s notice at 4 in the morning, and matching a toddler’s energy. It is hard work and there are plenty of days I reminisce on my good ole days of sleeping in. I was a morning person before having children, but NOW, my energy is at its highest in the morning and I can quickly burn through whatever at home jobs I need to be done.
I am a busy woman. I take care of my kids, my man, and my home; and I am happy to be taken care of just the same. These last two weeks as a family of 4 have taught me the importance of teamwork in your partnership. I would be lying if I said Anis and I haven’t argued during this big change. We have. It sucks but it only moves us toward being on a level playing field.
I am trying to remember the importance of checking in with myself and making sure I am still a priority in my life. As time goes by, I’ll get better at it. For now, I am so happy to take a long shower after my babies have gone to sleep, put on a good face mask, and watch Real Housewives of Atlanta. I am itching to go into full workout mode again, but I have to be patient with myself. I’ve been taking a lot of long walks and getting my diet together. I tried to run through my gate to my neighborhood yesterday before it closed on me…and I’m pretty sure I don’t know how to run anymore…I was embarrassed at the thought of someone looking at my struggle run.
At the end of the day, I am proud of myself and my husband. Parenting isn’t easy..especially when your two year old decides to lose her whole mind the week you bring the new baby home. Maya is always on her own time.
I love being a Mom. And I love the fire that it lights inside of me. I am right where I belong.