Last week on my Instagram I posted a request for ideas from followers for future blog posts. I received way more feedback than I ever expected which was a really cool feeling of validation for me. So, thank you! Someone brought up the idea of starting a podcast; and while that scares me, I’m super intrigued by it, think I would be good at it and can only hope that people wouldn’t get tired of the sound of my voice. Hah.

So, let’s get to it.

The most requested topic was health and fitness after having a baby; how to find the balance, how to maintain it, etc. I posted something a few months back saying how much I was struggling with bouncing back, and in truth it wasn’t reallyyy that bad. I was being a bit of a drama queen and a perfectionist all wrapped into one. Prior to getting pregnant, pretty much my whole adult life, I’ve been unhealthily obsessed with my body image. Can’t really say that has changed much. Craziness peaked around 2012/2013 after I moved to LA from OC and began Graduate school; when I would literally consume maybe 700 calories a day and was losing weight like you wouldn’t believe. I had zero muscle and was a STICK!

I absolutely loved it.

Yes, I know it’s crazy but I wanted to be honest. I’d barely eat all day, scrape by on almonds, bits of salmon and broccoli and fruit smoothies. I LIKED feeling hungry because in my wild mind it meant I was well on my way to being skinny. Skinny was always the goal.

There is an eating disorder somewhere in there, and I am not exactly proud of this phase of my life but it taught me a lot. Getting in a relationship changed that a bit. I began to eat more but the obsession still lived/s within me.

I’m obsessive..yet I also like pizza, ice cream, anything cheesy and rootbeer (my beverage weakness next to tequila). So there’s that.

To say pregnancy rocked the boat would be an understatement. I won’t go into detail now on how my hormonal changes affected my appetite and weight but it was new territory for me. Fast forward to the end of Summer 2018, after giving birth to Maya and feeling AMAZING. I had so much damn energy after having her! I’m talking 2 days after I was always busy doing something around my house in between her naps or with her wrapped on my body, cleaning like a mad woman. I started doing at home work outs (Like squats and donkey kicks) within 5 days of giving birth. Just crazy..who does that?

Honestly, I was just so happy to not be pregnant anymore, to not have the physical restriction.

 I COULD FINALLY DO THINGS AGAIN!

 I had a very easy vaginal birth which enabled me to bounce back so quickly. This isn’t everyone’s situation and I salute the many women who have complicated birthing stories; difficult Cesarean recoveries, hemorrhaging, episiotomies and whatever else may have made the experience more challenging.  You never know what life will throw at you and God blessed me with an easy birth which I will forever be grateful for.

My mother in law came to stay with us 5 days after Maya was born for 3 weeks and it saved my life. For those three weeks, health and fitness weren’t really on my radar. I wanted to eat enough to produce enough milk for her, which I was already at a disadvantage for because of a breast reduction surgery I had 10 years ago (I’ll go into detail on how that affected me at a later time).

If you’ve had a baby you know that breast feeding burns calories fast. I was eating then feeding then pumping and feeling as though I had just left the gym. My blob of a stomach didn’t really bother me. I felt good, strong and sexy. It wasn’t until I really started losing weight that it bothered me. That loose skin was a real nuisance. Once the Holidays came I was on a roll. Working out HARD, eating very well, no longer breast feeding and raising a rapidly growing baby. With my husband out of town or just in LA working, I was alone a lot. I didn’t have consistent help so I could run to the gym for an hour a day and really had to rely on my self-control to eat right and complete my home work outs. It took me a good 5 months (November-March) of consistency to get back to feeling like myself.

When it comes to diet, I cut out a lot.  I love oatmeal and sweet potato but don’t eat as much as I probably should. A friend recently suggested adding wild rice, kamut and red quinoa to my diet though I haven’t yet. I don’t eat pasta, rice, potatoes or bread or dairy (cheese is forever an exception). When I do, I feel lethargic, bloated for 24 hours and guilty…but that’s the crazy in me.

I consume a lot of protein and vegetables; while it’s certainly helped me lose weight, I doubt I can keep that up forever. I have been low on energy lately and that’s a quite a challenge with a family and home to take care of.

 It has been such a relief to take Maya with me to the gym the last 2 weeks. She does really well at “Kids Klub” at LA Fitness and let me tell you, it is changing my life. Having a baby rocks your world; your time is no longer your own and baby will always come first. While I am back to my pre baby weight, I think I will always be chasing my own version of perfection – which changes as I do. To feel comfortable in my body, to eat well and to feel fulfilled ultimately makes me a better Mom and a better human. That is where I have found my joy.